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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26003023">small changes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/calypso42/pseuds/calypso42'>calypso42</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ben is trying, Diego makes a cameo, Family, Family Feels, Five could probably try more, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Klaus is trying, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, They are all disasters, Underage Drinking, age confusion, kind of</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:53:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,509</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26003023</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/calypso42/pseuds/calypso42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I need to ask you something.” He set down the large stack of books he was carrying beside him. Klaus glanced at a few of the titles - Consciousness in the Brain - Memory &amp; the Role of the Hippocampus - Soul vs. Matter: A Comprehensive Look at the Origins of Sentience - and grimaced.</p><p>“Are you… having an existential crisis, or something? Because I am possibly the worst person you could go to for that.”</p><p>...</p><p>When Five goes to Klaus to ask him something about his powers, Klaus doesn’t think much of it. At least, until he realizes that what he thought was simple curiosity was actually deeper than that, leading to a revelation about Five himself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hargreeves &amp; Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy &amp; Ben Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy &amp; Klaus Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>673</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>small changes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This takes place in an alternate universe where they stopped the apocalypse in season one and didn't travel back in time, so season two didn't happen. Also they all live in the academy together.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh good, Klaus, you’re here.” </p><p>“Jesus!” </p><p>Unbothered by Klaus’s yell, Five sat down on the floor in front of him. Klaus pouted mournfully at the spilled bottle of nail polish he’d just knocked over in surprise at Five’s sudden appearance in his room. “You know, you could have just knocked.”</p><p>Five ignored him. “I need to ask you something.” He set down the large stack of books he was carrying beside him. Klaus glanced at a few of the titles - <em> Consciousness in the Brain - Memory &amp; the Role of the Hippocampus - Soul vs. Matter: A Comprehensive Look at the Origins of Sentience </em> - and grimaced.</p><p>“Are you… having an existential crisis, or something? Because I am possibly the worst person you could go to for that.” Klaus waved his arm lackadaisically in the air as if to emphasize his point. “Unless you want solidarity in which case, hell yeah, I can do that.” He spread his arms out. “Why are we alive? I ask myself that every day.”</p><p>“Klaus, if I had wanted someone to spout pseudo philosophical nonsense, I would have found an actual philosopher,” Five said, his mouth tightening into a flat smile he clearly didn’t mean. “Is Ben here?”</p><p>Klaus glanced to where Ben was leaning against the wall, watching the two of them curiously. “Yeah he’s over there.” He gestured over to him, even though Five wouldn’t be able to see anything. “Just… standing there.”</p><p>“You should make me visible,” Ben said. “So I can talk to him myself.”</p><p>Klaus ignored him, turning back to Five. “What did you need to ask him? Because I can relay anything he says for you.”</p><p>“Really, Klaus?” Ben demanded.</p><p>Five pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. “I had a few questions about his experience as a ghost. How different is it from being alive? Does he have any trauma from his death? Has he gone through any personality changes since he was alive?” Five tapped his pen against the paper. “When you made him visible before, he looked older than seventeen, which implies that he’s aged since his death. Is this normal for ghosts?”</p><p>Klaus shared a glance with Ben, who seemed just as at a loss as Klaus felt. “Um, well, that last question I can kind of answer? I haven’t really seen any other ghosts age, but I don’t exactly go out of my way to spend time with most ghosts for any extended amount of time, so who am I to say if it’s normal?” He shrugged. “As for his personality, I would say he’s more mean to me than when he was alive, if that counts.”</p><p>“That’s just a side effect of having to follow you around everywhere,” Ben said.</p><p>“That’s probably because he can’t talk to anyone but you,” Five said absently at the same time, scribbling something down on his paper.</p><p>“Really?” Klaus whined. “Ganging up on me like that? You’re both mean.”</p><p>“Is there any reason he’s asking these questions?” Ben mused in lieu of responding to Klaus. </p><p>“Ben wants to know why you’re being so nosy all of a sudden,” Klaus relayed.</p><p>“That is not what I said.”</p><p>Five scowled. “I was merely wondering about how your powers and the existence of ghosts fit in with modern views on cognition, and thus how important the brain really is in regards to it. If Ben really is fully functioning and changing as he would have if he’d been alive, even without a body, that implies that consciousness is not tied to the brain as one may think, but rather to the soul inhabiting the body.” He stood up and began to pace. “However, all previous research regarding the brain has shown irrefutable evidence that what is happening in the brain all affects our conscious experiences, so any changes in the brain will change how you perceive yourself and the world around you.” </p><p>He spun around and pointed at Klaus. “So if Ben’s soul had ended up in your body while you were still addicted to drugs, he would have experienced that same addiction, right? And if you had become a ghost, then you wouldn’t have been addicted because the chemicals in your brain that cause the addiction wouldn’t exist, right?” Five tugged at his hair. “But Ben would still have his own memories even if he was in your body. So he would be Ben before anyone else, even if he had your brain. But how much of him would be Ben? Would there be changes that even he didn’t notice?”</p><p>Klaus listened to Five rant, though he stopped really processing most of what he was saying after the first sentence. From what he could tell, though, that joke he had made earlier about existential crises wasn’t too far off. He’d never seen Five so ruffled about something unrelated to the literal apocalypse. “Woah, slow down,” he said when it looked like Five was about to actually tear his hair out. “It doesn’t really matter all that much, does it? It’s not like Ben is ever going to actually possess me, so…”</p><p>“That’s not the <em> point </em>here,” Five seethed. </p><p>“Then what is?” Klaus asked, throwing his hands up. “Please enlighten me, oh wise one.”</p><p>“Did you not hear a word I said? Or is your tiny brain just not-” Five stopped before he could say whatever insult he had been about to say. “The point is, I should have known better than to waste my time trying to explain it to you.”</p><p>Seeing that he was about to jump away, Klaus quickly reached out and grabbed his wrist before he could grab the books that he had set down. Five shot him a glare and ripped his arm away from him. “Don’t <em> touch </em>me.”</p><p>Klaus put his hands up in the air. “Alright, I won’t. I just thought that if I can’t understand, maybe Ben would. You can talk to him about it, or whatever. I can make him visible for you.”</p><p>“Oh, <em> now  </em>you’re willing to make me visible,” Ben said irritably. “You know, if you had done this from the start, maybe you wouldn’t have-”</p><p>“I’m sorry, are you complaining?” Klaus hissed back before Ben could finish his sentence. “Because last I checked, you wanted this. Shouldn’t you be thanking me?”</p><p>“Maybe I’d thank you if you didn’t just do it whenever it was convenient for you.”</p><p>“Oh, what, am I supposed to just inconvenience myself for you? That sounds very one sided, Ben. A relationship should be give and take, not-</p><p>“Klaus-”</p><p>“-so I’d appreciate it if you’d have a little more respect, or maybe I won’t make you visible anymore, even if you-”</p><p>“KLAUS!”</p><p>Klaus paused his rant at Ben’s shout. “Ow, what?” he said, rubbing his ears.</p><p>“He’s gone,” Ben said, gesturing to the spot Five had been standing only moments ago. “Five is gone.”</p><p>Klaus stared. “Well, shit,” he said. He sat back down and grabbed a new nail polish.</p><p>“Aren’t you going to go after him?” Ben demanded.</p><p>“And why would I do that?” Klaus said, shaking the bottle. He opened it up and began applying it on his toes.</p><p>“Because you’re his brother?” said Ben. “Because he seemed upset about something, for some reason?”</p><p>Klaus wiggled his freshly painted toes. “Ben, how exactly am I supposed to help with that? I can barely understand my own emotions, how do you expect me to know what’s going on in that old man-kid’s head?”</p><p>“You could try, at least.”</p><p>“Mmm, I don’t think so.”</p><p>“Klaus!”</p><p>Klaus slapped his hand on the floor. “God, fine! Why do you have to be such a whiny little bitch?”</p><p>“Thank you,” Ben said as Klaus stood up. “And you’re one to talk.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me being such a good brother,” Klaus declared, opening the door to leave the room. Ben scoffed but didn’t reply, just following him out. </p><p>The first place Klaus tried was Five’s room. He thought about knocking, but since Five hadn’t given him that dignity, he just tried the doorknob instead. Unfortunately it was locked. “Five?” he called. “You in there, buddy?”</p><p>No response.</p><p>He turned to Ben. “Why don’t you poke your head in and see if he’s there? Since you’re the one who wanted me to talk to him so badly.”</p><p>Ben rolled his eyes, but did it anyway. A moment later he pulled his head back out and said, “He’s not there. Also, you have no idea how weird that feels.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. So you’ve said a bazillion times,” Klaus said. “If I were a tiny, emotionally compromised assassin, where would I hide?”</p><p>“We should split up,” Ben suggested. “Cover more ground that way.”</p><p>“That is a terrible idea, Ben. Don’t you know that in movies, if the group splits up, someone always dies?”</p><p>“Well, by that logic, since I’m already dead, it’ll be you who dies, so I can’t say I’m that concerned,” Ben said. Ignoring Klaus’s dramatic gasp, he waved and told him, “I’ll let you know if I find him,” leaving Klaus to his lonesome.</p><p>“Rude,” Klaus said to the air.</p><p>He ended up wandering into the kitchen, hoping to find Five there making a sandwich or something. Instead, much to his disappointment, he only found Diego, standing there with a glass of water. “Hey, Diego, brother of mine,” Klaus said, “You seen little Five anywhere?”</p><p>“Yeah, just a minute ago,” Diego replied, scrunching up his nose. “He just grabbed a bottle of some alcohol and left. Figured it wasn’t worth it to try and stop him. You have any idea what’s going on with him?”</p><p>“Yeah, uh, he might have been talking to me about something or other and I didn’t really understand it? To be fair, though, I wasn’t paying that much attention. But he ran off and now, here I am, looking for him.” Klaus spread his arms out.</p><p>Diego snorted. “Yeah, well, be prepared, cause he'll probably be drunk as hell when you find him.”</p><p>“Sounds delightful,” Klaus sighed. He had the sinking feeling that Ben was right to be worried, though. If Five was getting himself drunk over this, then he couldn’t just be frustrated by some random theoretical problem he didn’t know the answer to. It had to be something else. Maybe it had to do with the apocalypse that didn't happen? Or maybe there was going to be another apocalypse, and this time Klaus's powers would be the cause somehow. Klaus hoped not - he'd had enough of that apocalypse crap for a lifetime.</p><p>He left the kitchen only to run into Ben on the stairway. “I found him,” Ben said before Klaus could talk. “He’s on the roof. He, uh, looks a little…”</p><p>“Inebriated? Yeah, Diego warned me,” Klaus finished for him. “On the bright side, maybe he’ll be easier to talk to?”</p><p>Ben raised an eyebrow, but didn’t argue against it. “Hopefully he won’t just disappear again.”</p><p>"He probably won't" Klaus said as they made their way up to the roof. "His powers won't work right if he's drunk, right? So the worst he could do is run off, and he's got tiny baby legs, so I could just grab him." As they stepped out onto the roof, Klaus didn’t bother to suppress the chill that ran through him at the cold evening breeze. Ben followed behind him, completely unaffected.</p><p>Five was seated at the edge of the roof, holding a bottle with a tight grip. As Klaus sat next to him, he took a swig of it.</p><p>“So, what’s really going on with you?” Klaus asked. “Is this another apocalypse thing?”</p><p>“Fucking hell,” Five muttered. “You really don’t know when you’re not wanted, do you?”</p><p>“Hey, you’re the one who came to me in the first place,” Klaus pointed out, “so my presence can’t be that unwanted.”</p><p>“That’s because you’re the only one with ghost powers,” Five said. He took another swig of the alcohol. “Load of good that did, because you were completely useless.”</p><p>“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Klaus said, gesturing to the bottle, because someone had to say it. “Believe me, I know the temptation of drowning away your troubles. But even though you may be an old man mentally, physically you’re only thirteen, so it’s probably not-”</p><p>Five slammed the bottle on the edge of the roof, sending shards and liquid everywhere. “I know that, okay?” he spat as Klaus leaned back in shock. “I know I’m a goddamn child, okay? I know that. You think I don’t know that?”</p><p>“Woah, okay,” Klaus said, chuckling nervously. “Hit a nerve there, didn’t I?”</p><p>“Look at me!” Five said, holding his arms out. “I’m a fucking child. I’m a kid. My body’s a kid, my mind’s a kid, but I’m not. I’m not a kid. I’m fifty eight <em> goddamn </em>years old.”</p><p>“You- yeah, I know,” Klaus said, a little bit at a loss for words. He glanced at Ben, who only pursed his lips, clearly thinking. “Is that what all this is about? You’re upset about being stuck in a kid’s body?”</p><p>Five scoffed. “It’s not just the body though, is it?” He reached to his side, only to frown when he found only broken pieces of it. “Dammit.”</p><p>“That’s what he was talking about earlier,” Ben said. “When he was talking about the soul versus the brain. He was referring to himself.”</p><p>A spark of realization surged through Klaus. “Wait, so his brain is a kid’s too?” That was...</p><p>“I didn’t have to adjust, you know that?” Five said bitterly. “If my brain were still the same, I would have had to adjust to suddenly being in a different body. But I didn’t, so it’s not. And I’ve felt different, too. More volatile. Like a fucking teenager. Damn it. I’m not, though. I’m an adult. I’m fifty eight years old.” He threw a shard of the bottle off the roof.</p><p>Klaus didn’t know what to say. He felt like if he opened his mouth, some insensitive joke would come out and he’d only make things worse, because that’s how he dealt with emotional situations. It wasn’t like he could understand what Five was going through, either.</p><p>“Can’t you reverse it?” he ended up saying. “You said it was a mistake in your calculations that made you end up this way. If you time travel again, can you undo that mistake?”</p><p>“It’s not that simple,” Five groused. “Don’t you think I’d have done it already, if I could have? The correct calculations would just keep me in the body I’m currently in. If I want to go back to my old body, there’s a whole lot more to account for. More than just… fixing a decimal place. It’s basically a crapshoot. You wouldn’t understand.”</p><p>“Okay, well…” Klaus turned to Ben for help, who only gestured for him to keep talking. “Um… It can’t be that bad, right? I mean, at least you have all your memories…”</p><p>“I have to go through puberty again,” Five said. “<em>Twice</em>.”</p><p>Klaus winced. “Okay, yeah, that sucks. But you’re still you though, right? It doesn’t matter if you’re thirteen or fifty eight, or some weird amalgamation of the two. You’re still the same person, right?”</p><p>“I don’t feel the same,” Five muttered.</p><p>“So what?” Klaus said. Five shot him a glare, and he put his hands up. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, people don’t stay the same anyway, do they? Look at me. A year ago I was probably overdosing in the back of an ambulance, and now I’m completely sober. Sure I’ve had my… temptations, now and then, but I’m so much better now, even if things suck sometimes. You can… I don’t know exactly where I was going with that, but my point is, even though your brain is different, you’re still you. You haven’t lost all your experiences, and everything else that has shaped you, you’re just a bit different, and that’s fine.” God, he was terrible at this.</p><p>Five stared at him, then looked back out over the edge of the roof. “That’s a nice way of thinking, but I don’t think it suits me.”</p><p>“That’s alright,” Klaus said. “Recovery isn’t linear. That’s what they say, right?”</p><p>“I really don’t think that applies here.”</p><p>“Five, you’re the definition of ‘not linear’. If it applies to anyone, it’s you.”</p><p>Five shook his head. “Don’t ever become a therapist. You’re awful at it.”</p><p>Klaus winced exaggeratedly. “Ouch. But you know what, I won’t take it personally, because I know you show love by insulting people.”</p><p>Five rolled his eyes, but didn’t deny it, so Klaus counted that as a win. He didn’t really know what to say after that, though, so they both stayed quiet for a bit longer after that, watching the sun setting. At least Five didn't seem angry anymore, but now he just seemed sad.</p><p>“Klaus,” Ben said eventually, “can I say something?”</p><p>Klaus glanced back at him. “Sure, go ahead.”</p><p>A moment of silence followed, during which Five looked quizzically at Klaus. Ben rolled his eyes. “I mean to Five.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I was wondering why you were asking, you usually just say whatever you…” Klaus trailed off, and turned to Five. “Uh, Ben wants to say something to you, is that okay?”</p><p>“Ben’s here?” Five said. “Yeah, that’s fine.”</p><p>Klaus clenched his fists, causing a blue glow to form over them. Five turned to look at Ben, who was now visible to him “Make it quick, Benny,” Klaus said. “I’m not sure how long I can hold this.”</p><p>“Five,” Ben said, “I’ve been thinking about what you said before, and I think you were right. Because I don’t have a body, but I still feel like a whole person, you know? I feel things just as intensely, and I’ve changed too. And I don’t know how universal that is for ghosts, and how much of it is just due to me being around Klaus, but I didn’t need a brain for that either way. So what you were saying about the soul being more important… I think that was right. So, even if you’re stuck in that body, and even if you end up changed by that, and even if you feel like it’s not right, it’s not you…” He shook his head. “Well, it’s like Klaus said. Even if you end up changing, the most important part of you won’t change. That’s all that matters, right? And I know that doesn’t make it any easier right now, but maybe it will over time. I… hope that helps.”</p><p>Five was quiet for a moment. Then his lips quirked up in what wasn’t quite a smile, but was close. “Thanks, Ben,” he said softly.</p><p>“Okay, we’re done here, right?” Klaus said. “Cause I think I’m about at my limit.” He wasn’t, he could have held it another minute, but it looked like Ben had said everything he’d wanted to say, so he didn’t want to exhaust himself unnecessarily.</p><p>Ben nodded at him. “Yeah, I’m done.” He smiled at Five. “It was good to talk to you again, Five. I miss talking to you.”</p><p>This time, Five did smile. “Me too,” he said. “I missed it every day.”</p><p>At that, Klaus released his powers, and Ben faded from view for Five. Ben smiled at Klaus in thanks, though his smile was wavering like he was about to cry. Klaus thought that if he hadn't been a ghost, he probably would have already.</p><p>After a couple awkward seconds passed, Klaus clapped his hands together, startling Five. “Al-right!” he said. “How about we go back inside now, because I am freezing, and maybe we can get some hot chocolate or something. That sounds good, right?”</p><p>Five rolled his eyes. “Klaus, you don’t have to actually treat me like a kid, you know that, right?”</p><p>“I know,” Klaus said. “Hot chocolate isn’t just for kids. I want some, and I’ll have it whether you do or not. I just figured, since you’ve been sitting out here in the cold too, you might also want some. Do you?”</p><p>Five thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Yeah, why not.”</p><p>Klaus grinned. “Excellent! We could ask the others, too, make a whole family bonding experience out of it.”</p><p>“That sounds like a recipe for disaster,” Five said dryly.</p><p>“Maybe, but it should be fun anyway, right?” Klaus grinned. “Come on, let’s go.”</p><p>They left the cold of the roof, returning to the warmth of the house. Klaus felt much happier, not only because he wasn’t outside in the evening without a jacket, but because Five seemed a lot less upset than he had before. Klaus had already begun collecting the ways he could tease him about the whole age thing, but that could be done later, once Five would be able to take it better. For now, he was just glad to see his brother smile.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've been thinking about Five's age a lot, so I made Five think about it. Also writing Ben and Klaus is so much fun, I love them.<br/>This is the first fanfic I've posted in years and I wrote it all in one afternoon so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯</p></blockquote></div></div>
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